About the approach

To gain a sharper sense of the three OBREAU practices, imagine an issue as represented by an iceberg, observed by a group of people in a small boat.

Observation

The surface of the iceberg represents what can be seen directly. That might seem straightforward – but the complication is that we tend to react and begin with interpretations: things that can’t be seen directly and, metaphorically, sit below the waterline. “There’s a lack of communication” is an interpretation, just as is “his behaviour was inappropriate”.

The Observation practice is based on the idea that if we can observe more carefully and fully – while recognising our own lenses – we have a clearer, more grounded basis for individually and jointly making sense of an issue. Just as people in the boat will each see a somewhat different facet of the iceberg, what we notice is influenced by where we stand and what we bring to the situation.

Importantly, when we begin with observation rather than interpretation or opinion, we are better able to consider different interpretations. This helps loosen up our thinking and supports adaptability. We can also engage more constructively with others because we are less likely simply to react to them and potentially trigger defensiveness.

A useful question is: What can we actually observe?

Reasonableness

Any contested issue will involve other stakeholders. They may see different aspects of the iceberg from their own position, but much of what shapes their understanding will also remain below the waterline, unspoken and maybe beneath conscious awareness: their beliefs, assumptions, interests, aspirations, concerns and perhaps feelings that they do not openly share.

As a mental shortcut, we tend to attribute motives and intentions to others – often judging them adversely: “They don’t want to change.” “They’re only looking after their own interests.” “They can’t be trusted.”

The difficulty is that once we are judging others negatively, it becomes harder to test our interpretations with them without prompting threat or defensiveness – from them and perhaps from us as well.

The Reasonableness practice starts from the proposition that other people’s responses will generally make sense to them, given what they see, believe, assume, want or fear. We may not know what those things are. But, drawing on what we have observed, we can develop tentative ideas about what might be real for them – treating these as hypotheses to explore rather than conclusions about them.

We can then potentially test our interpretations with them, provided we do not lapse back into judgement.

In doing so, we are exploring what is below the waterline: territory that is normally hidden and can sometimes feel threatening. This has implications both for the language we use and for how we think about and voice our own perspective.

A useful question is: What might make sense from their perspective?

Authenticity

If we can explore other people’s ways of seeing and understanding an issue, we have a much better prospect of building shared understandings. But if we want others to be more open and forthcoming with us, we also need to bring something genuine of ourselves into the interaction.

Authenticity, like Observation and Reasonableness, is a practice – something we need to work at. Most of us have learned to appear open while being quite circumspect about what we reveal of our underlying thoughts, concerns and feelings.

Authenticity in OBREAU is not about “putting it all out there”. It means bringing forward what seems genuinely true, relevant and important to say – and considering how we can frame it so that others have a reasonable prospect of hearing it.

It is not about being nice, deferential or unblinkingly positive. Sometimes authenticity means raising something difficult or uncomfortable that might otherwise remain unspoken.

The Authenticity practice also requires us to remain attentive to Observation and Reasonableness. Rather than simply offering an unfiltered account of what we are feeling, we ground what we say in relevant observable data and in thoughtful consideration of what may be true for others. We then express our genuine response to these things, as far as we reasonably can while remaining sensitive to the particular context.

A useful question is: What is important for me to say?

Using the three practices together

The three practices are most powerful when used together: observing more carefully, becoming more curious and less quick to judge, and saying more of what genuinely needs to be said.

Here OBREAU has been presented mainly as supporting thoughtful and constructive engagement by individuals in their practice of leadership – whether or not they hold a formal leadership role.

But OBREAU can also support collective reflection, dialogue and sense-making. The Resources and Working Together pages show ways that groups and individuals can use these practices to improve the quality of thinking and engagement around challenging issues.